My Letter to Timmy

Hey, Buddy,

Missin’ ya, pal. Hope everything’s going well with you. Someday I hope I’m able to find you again. I want to watch you eat some ice-cream by mouth, okay? Not sure if God has a stash of ice-cream, but, if He does, I want to eat some with you some day on those streets of gold. The ice-cream isn’t the important part, I just want to see you eat orally by my side, and I watched you try to eat ice-cream before. The taste of food is an amazing gift God has given us, and you had to miss out on that while you were with us, and I wish you could have had the pleasure of it. I’m sure ice-cream pales in comparison to what you get to see, though.

I miss your smile, buddy. Your smile was contagious, and the way it caused your whole face to twist into a ball of joy was amazing. I’ve never known anyone else capable of smiling in the way that you did, and I doubt I ever will. Perhaps I’m biased because you’re my brother, but, that’s okay, we’ll just keep that between us. Despite being so young, you brought a joy to my life that I will never forget. I remember the first time I heard you laugh. That sound was so amazing the first time I heard it and I never grew tired of hearing you laugh, even if you were probably laughing at your pitiful older brother sometime. Car rides made you laugh, too. Probably the most, challenged only by dinnertime whenever we would laugh and you would join in the fun. Now that you’re away from me, that laugh seems like the best music, and I would give anything to hear it again.

Speaking of music, remember when we used to do music together? You would start with your pipes going strong, and then I would pick a melody on the guitar. Soon you would stop your singing and I would be left with a solo, but, you still watched and listened to me. I should have played with you more, that was a blast. I can’t remember all of what I played for you, but, I’m pretty sure Edelweiss was among them. Then there was the times that you would sit at the piano and play with me. It sometimes messed me up, but, our duets were still the best. I remember two songs that we played. One was “Be Thou My Vision”, and the other was “Into the West”, the song that you listened to a lot on your last day with us.

You know, you were super cute, too. Despite that cuteness, you had no problem mocking us as we ate by mouth. Not sure if you thought it was funny that we shoved food into a hole in our face or if you wondered why we paid so much attention to clumps of colors on our plates, but, you sure enjoyed shoving an empty, chubby little fist into your mouth and then giving us a huge grin or just laughing at us.

I’ll also miss our snuggle time. Sunday night after church was ours for a while, until you got more fussy and sick. You enjoyed laying down on my stomach while I reclined in the rocking chair, and having me rub your back, or, at least you didn’t complain, unless I stopped rubbing your back or rocking, then you’d grunt at me. I’ll miss those times. I remember when you were first brought back from Rochester, there was one thing you liked me to do with you. You loved it if I stood in the living room next to your crib and did lunges continually while holding you. Believe it or not, I put you to sleep once while doing them, which is significant, because I didn’t often put you to sleep.

I’m glad you’re enjoying a healthier body now, buddy. I’m happy for you, but, sad that you had to leave me behind. I’ll miss you and the amazing encouragement you were.

Love you bunches, lil’ buddy!

Austin