Why Are My Kids Lazy?!?!?

Just kidding, I don't actually have any kids, I'm just using that title because good blog posts answer real life questions, and I have heard this phrase come from exasperated parents on multiple occasions before.

What actually brought the idea for this blog post to my head was a result of looking back (I know, hardly possible for an 18-year old like myself......) through some English papers that reminded me of a conversation I had with a good friend this week.

I and this friend (I won't mention her name just in case it gets me in trouble, but, she knows who she is :-) ) were working (fitting, I guess......) and got to talking about this topic of laziness, lack of work ethic, and lack of knowledge of how to work in people. Our conversation was centered around the younger generation where these people are more prevalent, but, there are people from older generations that still have everything handed to them on a silver platter and aren't very productive.We had many things in common, both circumstantially and belief-wise. Both of us saw the lack of a work ethic, a need for more training in young people, and both of us have fathers who have demonstrated to us what proper work is, which brings me to my first recognition/complaint.

A proper role model is necessary for anyone to learn anything. I worked at Cummins JEP over the summer, the first thing they did was place me with an experienced gentleman who knew the ins and outs of the line I was on. At Panera, we have trainers who, you guessed it, train the new employees. One of the important parts of being a trainer at Panera is modeling what a correct employee does and exemplifying correct usage of tools, knowledge of ingredients, and customer service (that's not word-for-word, but, it's in the job description somewhere, I think.......). Role models are crucial for us to learn anything, one of the reasons why colleges provide internships.

My Dad was and is my role model for work. From the day I was born he modeled what work was and is. He not only works a job to keep food on the table and our family supported, but he also does projects with us kids to show us what work looks like (and sure, the garden needs tended for other reasons, but, you know what I mean). He will always be my role model for work, and I know many children are not blessed to have a father like mine.

When I and my friend were talking both of us talked about the importance of our fathers in our knowledge of what a work ethic was. We're both doing well in each of our jobs, and we've worked hard to get there, but, we both seemed to credit our success to those who taught us how to work.

Time to actually let some of my opinions out. Sorry, this post is going to be somewhat essay-styled.

We’re all frustrated with the reality that our children are not living up to our expectations. We had to work hard next to our parents, whether in doing farm chores or mowing the lawn and taking care of the house and family vehicle. If we wanted something, we had get off our backside and go work for it. It’s unfair that our children don’t have to work for anything, they take it all from us.

I have heard other people’s logical explanations for this problem. “We’re giving our kids too much stuff, make them work for their stuff and all will be well in a few days” some will say. “I need to take their phone and car keys from them, that will make them want to work for their phone back….. unless I get impatient of their tantrums and give it back to them before they learn a lesson. It’s at least worth a shot.” I have heard desperate parents with little patience say. Others must think, “I’ll give them the keys to the riding, fully automatic, two-thousand-dollar lawnmower. That’s sure to teach them how to work like a man.” I can tell this because that’s what I see them doing. These are all okay explanations, and worth a shot. I give them credit, and if you have the nerve to stick them out, great. However, this is not the true root of laziness in our children.

Here is one of the main reasons that children are abandoning a decent work ethic. We are robbing them of an example. We are to be the example in our children’s lives and demonstrate for them how to be responsible adults. As my father told me many times, “I’m not raising children, I’m raising adults.” If we are raising adults, we need to show them how an adult behaves. I’m going to be blunt, we’re not doing this. We spend two-thirds of our days away from them and somehow think that they’ll magically know how to work? All they see is that daddy is gone all the time. They will then naturally conclude that “When I become an adult, I need to go away to this mysterious place to make money that I never see.”

My best memories of being a kid include working alongside my dad (in fact, I still enjoy it), it made me feel more like an adult when I did ‘adult’ things. I can work on my own now, too, but as a kid my father showed me how to work by mowing the lawn by himself, then he would ask me to help him, or I asked him. In the winter, we shoveled the drive together, and before winter, we went and harvested firewood to keep us warm in the winter. It isn’t just my family that I see this in, though. I have many young friends who have a greater work ethic than some young adults. I can see that their fathers are clearly active in their lives. Sometimes, several families I know will get together for ‘work parties’. Believe it or not, we always have a blast cutting firewood together, helping another friend, or taking care of a widow’s land.

In contrast, the young adults that ‘can’t’ work most often have fathers that are away all the time. In the extreme cases, the fathers have abandoned their children, or the children were born out of wedlock, and the fathers want nothing to do with them. The last category of parents I want to address are those who get divorced. Divorce is a harsh thing to go through. It’s easy to see the consequences, right? Or not, inwardly, our children are missing out on many things. A good work ethic is being included in the large load of values that gets abandoned at the curb for parent’s childish pleasures and disagreements.

Let me elaborate simply, the cause of laziness in our adolescent and teenage children has to do with the example that we put before them. We are putting garbage in front of them. As soon as we’re done at our job that they can’t see, we sit in a chair sipping a drink and being waited upon by our wife and children while we watch our favorite source of useless commercials. Our children aren't seeing the parents that they need to see. They see a sluggish, tired old father who complains like a five-year-old about his coworker who left gum on the bottom of his chair, instead of a father who spends time working or playing with his children. We need to start giving our children the parents and fathers they need, and stop robbing them of their work ethic!

Alright, now y'all know my feelings. I'm not a father yet, but, I am going to determine to be the example that my father was and is to me to those around me who haven't been so fortunate (without complaining and rubbing it in their face, because that would be rather counter-productive), and when I do become a father if God grants me with a wife and children, then I will endeavor to train them in the way I have been shown how to.

I suppose I should close this blog post out now, but, I need to do one more thing that I've been working on these past few weeks and sign off in thankfulness.

I am thankful for a father that is constantly training me how to work.

I am thankful for a mother that models a correct work attitude.

I am thankful for God who has given me the family I'm in.

I am thankful for the many friends I have that challenge my thinking.

I am thankful for the conversation I had with my friend the other night.

I am thankful for the amazing snow that makes things appear more calm.

Not trying to offend Millennials or my avacado toast-loving friends, this shirt just made me laugh. :-)